i've been a long time gone now, maybe someday, someday i'm gonna settle down, but i've always found my way somehow, by taking the long way around

my one suggestion for anyone contemplating a roadtrip: buy a gps. it's not that i didn't think about it. i did. but i decided i wanted my trip to be unplanned and have the chance to get lost and see the unexpected. yeah, that's great and all... but spending 3 hours lost in the city looking for the effing interstate = not so exciting (more on that later). anyway, for practical purposes, a gps would have been fantastic. but of course, me being the stubborn person i am, there was no way i was going to buy one halfway through my trip... so instead i got the grand idea of buying an atlas! yeah, i've gone this whole trip with no maps or anything... just following signs. i've always hated maps/graphs/anything like that. i have this intense phobia of them because my brain is "map-retarded" and seriously just doesn't understand them... but i'm a little in love with my pocket-sized atlas. obsessed even. i love looking at the places i've been and seeing the places i could go. i love figuring out which interstate will take me where. i'm addicted. so where were we...?

Tuesday:

Allison convinced me to stay another day by bribing me with a fondue restaurant. she promised that we would meet up with a friend of hers after work and have a girls night out, complete with cream puffs dipped in melted snickers chocolate. i was sold. so i spent the day working out, playin with the pups and chillin by the pool until allison got home. then we hit up the fondue place, where allison got wild boar that they brought out to her on a lava rock thing that she cooked herself. it was pretty cool! i even tried a little tiny piece, much to everyone's surprise. real tasty.

Wednesday:

after a quick workout, i packed up the car and me and rotey said farewell (or so we thought) to sweet san jose. the plan was to head to san francisco for the day and then camp at yosemite that night. but thanks to stupid san francisco's lack of interstate signs, that was not meant to be. so we made it to san fran that morning and headed straight to fisherman's wharf. i ended up parking in what i would later realize was the most expensive parking garage in san fran and was also like an hour and a half walk away from both china town and f'man's wharf. not a good combo. we finally made it to the wharf and i was happy as a clam (i thought the simile was appropriate here). cute little shops, streetside vendors and festive music everywhere. after i felt i had gotten my fill, i decided to try and walk to the golden gate bridge, only to find out it was at least another hour and a half away from where i was (meaning a 3 hour walk back to my car) so that was outta the question. the cop who had told me this then gave me "faster" directions back to my parking garage, which actually only ended up in leading me in a gigantic circle. you can imagine my frustration when an hour later i ended up back at fisherman's wharf instead of my parking garage. heading back our original route, we eventually found our car and got a quick drive thru chinatown since i still wanted to see the gg bridge and get to yosemite before nightfall. really really absurdly and frustratingly long story short, thanks to traffic and stupidity, i spent the next 3 hours blindly driving thru the city, trying to find the bridge. finally, as the evening was setting in, i called allison and told her she would be getting to keep me for another night. so back to san jose we went.

we got there just in time to join in for her ballroom dancing lessons. and then we stayed after for the group party where they dim the lights, raise the disco ball and dance the night away. haha. it was great! i danced with one of the older instructors there (probably like 70s or something), and i tell you what! that old fox had me blushing all night long. guarantee you that man was a ladykiller in his prime... like 40 years ago.. but whatever! age is just a number.

Thursday:

as i set out on the road thursday morning, i started to head in the direction of yosemite... but then i turned around. i had a score to settle with that golden gate bridge. so in the opposite direction i set off. and you will be glad to know, i did indeed find it!...after only getting lost a few times... and on top of that, when i parked to get out and take a picture, the meter still had time so i didn't have to pay! i think that was san fran's way of apologizing for being a stupid city yesterday. even though it was going the opposite direction than i needed, i wasn't going to NOT drive over the bridge!

after we crossed over, i saw signs for a little town called sausalito that my friend josh had recommended to me.. so we ventured there and i loved it. it's crazy how it's just barely outside of san fran but totally different. it's like entering another world. you leave the smoggy skies and cold wind of san fran for the blue skies and cool breeze of this quaint little city. super cute. fiiiinally, we headed on our way to yosemite and made it there with just enough time to drive through and see that all the campsites were full. but at least i got to see it! so beautiful. i'd love to go backpacking there. on we drove through the night until finally i came across a 24 hour burger and passed out in the drivers seat for the rest of the night.

Friday:

My next destination in mind was the grand tetons and yellowstone. after stealing a shower from another Motel 6 again (i love motel 6!!! they are the bomb diggity and a half and they don't charge for pets.. they might even be 2 bomb diggities!), we spent a lot of friday driving and stopping at random places... one such place was the saltair palace in utah. some weird little palace looking place on the great salt lake. it was interesting. rotor was particularly fond of the dead birds scattered across the beach. i told him he'd be walking home if he rolled in one. he did anyway. fortunately, they had little showers so i could rinse him off.

we made it to wyoming that night, and as we were driving through the grand tetons, i thought it looked oddly familiar. then i realized that i was driving through the exact area that bill and i had been at over spring break! i had even pulled over and contemplated camping at the exact place we had gone snowmobiling! how weird was that? i actually didn't realize any of this until i passed this moose on the side of the road... and thought "WHOA!! a real live moose!! just standing there!" and then remembered that i had thought that exact same thing the first time i had seen it... and was sadly disappointed when everyone told me it was a fake moose. anyway, at about midnight when i stopped driving, i once again found out that all the campsites were full, and i really didn't feel like just sleeping wherever cuz there are wild animals EVERYWHERE... and unfortunately, tuesdays are my Get-Attacked-By-A-Bear Day... so... once again, i slept in my car. actually, i really wanted to get a motel room that night and would have spent a pretty penny... but there was literally not ONE single vacant hotel in all of jackson, wyoming. so the car it was.

Saturday:

we got to yellowstone early and spent much of the morning observing the hot springs and geysers. yellowstone is so beautiful... ya know, in case you didn't believe everyone who has ever been there and said that. i even got to see old faithful--who is, by the way, definitely a woman. she was such a tease! over the course of like 15 minutes, while the crowd was ready and waiting, she would bubble up and you'd think here we go! and then she'd stop. and then start again and you'd think "surely this is it!" and then she'd stop... and then finally, once everyone in the crowd was impatiently begging and waiting for it, she finally... blew. i think i now understand how guys feel. oh and during all this, it began to rain... so due to the nasty weather, i had to cut my visit to yellowstone short.

back on the road, i knew my final destination was mt rushmore.. so to south dakota we went! at about 10 pm, dead with exhaustion and wanting nothing more than to stretch out in a big bed, i stopped in buffalo, wyoming to find a hotel. wrong town to stop in. i couldn't find anything for less than 90 bucks (and that was AFTER i lied and said i didn't have a dog). finally, at the last motel i was at, just as i was about to leave, i turned to the guy and flat out lied and said "well i guess i'll just go back to the mansion motel. they offered me a room for 50 bucks. too bad you don't do competitive pricing." and as i started to walk out the door, he scrambled after me and was like "wait!! i'll see what i can do!" and that was that. stephanie got a room for 50 bucks (which was still way more than i'd wanted to spend but i was way too tired to care).

Sunday:

i had also lied to this guy and said i didn't have a dog... and there was a $50 charge for lying about that... so i decided we'd just sneak out early in the morning and since they were the kind of rooms you parked right outside of, i figured we'd just hop in the car and go. rotor had other plans. he ALWAYS gets in the car when i open the door.. always. but this morning he decided it was the perfect time to go sprinting around the hotel parking lot with me chasing wildly after him, and in a useless attempt be subtle, scream-whispering "ROTOR!! GET IN THE CAR!!" finally, i remembered a trick that sometimes works.. so i got in the car, turned it on and said "bye rotor!" and he came sprinting over to me and hopped in the car, terrified his mommy would leave him.

a few hours later, we arrived at mt rushmore. amazing! i ended up taking the presidential trail and was surrounded by large, sweaty herds of out of breath and out of shape people... the trail was only half a mile long!! dear lord.. what has our culture come to? and yet, i was the one who tripped UP the stairs (in a little sundress, no less) in front of a long line of nasty, sweaty old men--with cameras! eek! so if some random chick's ass at mt rushmore appears all over youtube... it's not mine.

after mt rushmore, we started driving.. and i started drinking coffee. lots of coffee. big mistake. i'm not really sure how much coffee i had... but i somehow made it from rapid city, south dakota to memphis, tn 24 hours later... yes, i drove for 24 hours straight, stopping only for a 30 minute cat nap in a hardees parking lot. well, that's not entirely true. i also stopped at "THE WORLD'S ONLY CORN PALACE!" i mean, seriously. who WOULDN'T stop there?? but yeah... i was all cracked out on caffeine and knew i wouldn't be able to sleep anyway so i figured why not just drive..? i finished another book on tape and started a new one--so that was pretty exciting. i also got in some quality time with my show tunes (especially phantom of the opera and wicked).

Monday:

my early arrival (i wasn't supposed to get here til monday night) allowed me to go watch my mom's barrel racing lessons and meet the horses. i was so proud of my mommy racing around the barrels like a pro ;-) then i came back to their house and slept for like 5 hours... and woke up with my right armpit painfully sore. your guess is as good as mine. after a yummy dinner, mom and jack gave me a tour of the little town. jack then had to abandon us (something about needing sleep so he could perform surgery in the morning or something stupid like that), and mom and i went for a walk with our pups and got some good mother-daughter bonding time in. i haven't gotten to see them since i got back from alaska so it was long overdue! and now, the amazingly comfy couch is callin my name.

buy me a drink, sing me a song, take me as i come cuz i can't stay long

i had forgotten how nice it is to sleep in a real real bed... a bed where you're not worried about contracting an STD from the sheets. it's nice. i've been at my friend allison's house now for four days, and she's officially spoiled me rotten. but more on that later. where did i leave off? and what is today anyway? i have had absolutely no concept of time the past week or so... how long have i even been gone? geez.. after checking my cell phone, i discovered that today is tuesday. wow! it's been a week since i last blogged. i know you missed me. 

wednesday:

i spent the first half of wednesday exploring Ocean Beach... and the male species in california. i quickly discovered cali boys like southern girls in sundresses... or probably southern girls OUT of sundresses but whatev. either way, it was a good morning. ocean beach is definitely my favorite area of san diego. it's totally got the whole beach town feel to it. good vibes--love it. 

that afternoon, i met up with my guy friend i made the previous day at the beach. since i couldn't visit san diego and not go to the zoo, he was kind enough to accompany me. my opinion of the zoo? honestly, i was a little disappointed. i've always heard such amazing things about the san diego zoo so maybe my expectations were too high? i don't know... but sadly, the zoo let me down. but i have to admit, the panda bear was pretty precious. he was just chillin against a log eatin some bamboo all like "hey what's up? i'm a panda bear." and i just wanted to squeeze him. but that probably would have resulted in my death or at the very least, permanent disfigurement... so i abstained from squeezing the panda bear.

mexican food and margaritas were next on the agenda. and oh my.. the mexican food was AMAZING! or maybe it was the fact that i had a margarita on an empty stomach before the mexican food... so anything would have been amazing.... but don't worry, mom. i only had 2 drinks. and don't worry, jack. i made "GOOD CHOICES!"haha. i love you both.

thursday:

i was originally going to leave on thursday and head up towards san francisco to visit my girl allison... but then i got offered a free ticket to sea world on friday--so i extended my stay an extra day! 

rotor and i decided that we needed another day at the beach.. so this time we hit up the dog beach in ocean beach. the first day, i had been able to get him to play around in the water and with other dogs.. but this time, he was just a total mama's boy and slept next to me the entire time. what a booger.

after spending the evening exploring la jolla, rotor and i headed back to ocean beach to walk along sunset cliffs and... obviously.. watch the sunset. it was so relaxing! until i saw rotor kill a rat. i wasn't sure what was more disturbing: the fact that i saw my dog slaughter a poor, defenseless little animal right in front of me... or the fact that that poor, defenseless little animal had been right underneath where i was sitting, probably grazing me with its whiskers while plotting my death. needless to say, i freaked out, jumped on top of a rock and started screaming. i don't know if i was screaming more for rotor to stop and let him go or finish what he started... i think probably both. it still makes me shudder thinking of it. gahhh.... ick ick ick.

friday:

after packing up and checking out of the inn, i dropped rotor off at doggie daycare and went on my merry way to sea world. in case you've never been, i'll just say this: don't go to sea world if you're in an emotional mood. not only do i love dolphins, whales, and (now!!) sea lions, but to see them jump and flip through the air with dramatic story lines and touching music was just too much. i could have refilled every tank in that place. non-waterproof mascara was a bad idea. anyway, sea world was amazing and i filled up my entire memory card on my camera with little video clips. i also concluded that i need a sea lion. yes. need. 

though it wasn't easy, i managed to tear myself away in time to go pick up my baby roo and off we headed to allison's! oh and good recommendation, d karlisle. taking 5N was such a beautiful drive. at about midnight i was absolutely pooped--even more so than usual cuz i hadn't been able to get in my daily afternoon nap! my life is rough, i know. so i thought we'd be able to sleep in my car again.. but that just did not pan out this time. i managed to catch a couple zzz's but it got so hot that finally i gave in and found a super cheap motel to crash at. i asked if they gave out any type of discount and she said all they gave was  an aarp discount (for retired people)... but she liked me so she fudged my birthday and gave me the old people discount. i was pretty stoked--or as stoked as you can be when you've been driving for 5 hours and it's 2 in the morning.

Saturday:

we rolled into allison's place that afternoon, and the spoiling began. after our pups bonded, she took me to lunch at this super yummy italian place and i'm pretty sure i would have eaten the plate too if no one had been around. in an attempt to make room for dessert, we walked around the shopping plaza which was amazing! gucci, anthropologie, urban outfitters... everything! finishing up our feast with some frozen yogurt from pinkberry (it was interesting.. good.. but interesting!), we then headed back to get ready a night on the town.

Saturday night:

insane. we'll just say... what happens in san jose, stays in san jose.

Sunday:

we'll just skip right ahead into the afternoon/evening as we spent most of the day sleeping. after chinese food and pedicures, we decided harry potter was next on the agenda. btw, i definitely should have brushed up on what was going on in this one because the whole time i was like "wait--what?" but i thought it was a pretty good movie. love me some h.p. and butterfingers.

Monday:

since allison had to work (she moved out here in february because she got an amazing job!), i spent most of the day just exploring the area and found some cute places. i ended up stopping by her work and talking to a marketing guy there about jobs and all sorts of stuff. then allison let me play on one of the da vinci robots (in case you havent heard of them, they are the robots surgeons use to do surgery. real up and coming technology! and allison trains the surgeons how to use them). it was so caaraaazy! after a visit to the dog park with our pooches, we hit up this mexican restaurant with great food but horrible service. since allison had a couple drinks at dinner, i got to drive her brand new BMW back to the apartment. ohhhhh yeaaaaahhhh... then she spent the next hour looking up colleges and universities around here, trying to convince me to move. i could definitely do the cali thing full time.

not sure when i'm gonna leave... probably tomorrow :( 

The Germans discovered it in 1904 and they called it "San Diego" which in German means "whale's vagina"

man, it has been a crazy past few days. i realize now that this blog will come in handy not only so that i don't have to tell the same stories twenty million different times... but also so that i can remember what i did! this blog is as much for me as it is for you. this past week has kinda been a blur! so where did i leave off...? ah yes..

Saturday:

so after we left the coffee shop in el paso, we hit the road again heading towards phoenix. i knew that i really wanted to camp again tonight mainly because i didn't want to spend money on a motel. plus, i had just stopped at wal-mart and bought an additional sleeping pad to put under my sleeping bag, and i was intent on using it. when i saw signs for RockHound State Park, i decided that was our campsite for the night. the drive out to the park was beautiful, and my timing couldn't have been better. i ended up getting there right as the sun was starting to set, and i just pulled off to the side of the road and sat on the hood of my car with rotor as we watched it. if my eyes weren't so dry from the desert air, i might have shed a tear. ha. but really--it was so relaxing and peaceful. it also gave me a chance to journal and kinda reflect on things. 

so after the sunset, we drove the rest of the way to the campsite only to find out that you need a permit to camp there. i was sad. and not only sad, but really really tired.... so i knew we needed to find somewhere to sleep soon. we ended up finding two more campsites within the next couple hours, but i got a weird feeling about both of them... so i decided to keep on going. finally, at about 1 am (4 am for my body's internal clock since i was 3 hrs ahead), i gave up, pulled into a Dennys 24 hr restaurant, leaned back the seat and konked out. there was no way after looking for a campsite for 4 hours that i was going to pay $50 to sleep somewhere for probably less than 6 hrs. ESPECIALLY after i had just bought my extra sleeping pad.  see my logic??! so yes, ladies and gentlemen, i slept in my car. and i slept surprisingly well, actually.

Sunday:

the next morning, rotor and i went for a run in saguaro national park. rotor's a little fatty and a horrible running partner, by the way. after that, in dire need of bathing, i definitely drove up to a Motel 6, explained my situation and asked them if i could use a shower. i told merrilee (always use their first names. it makes the situation more personal. ha) that i would be out in ten minutes flat and so she opened and room and let me in . i was such a bum. but at least i was a clean one!

we made it to phoenix that afternoon and walked around a cute little town called scottsdale. i enjoyed some coffee at---yes---a local coffeeshop while i figured out where we would head next. after talking it over with rotor, we decided the grand canyon was the place to be so off we went. on the way, we stopped and saw montezuma's castle which was kinda cool. i dont think rotor cared too much for it; he was more focused on peeing on the tree below. once again, my timing was superb, as we made it to the grand canyon right as the sun was setting. it was so beautiful! i loved it. it's hard to take in that much beauty at once (that must be how people feel when they meet me for the first time! haha.. juuuuuust kidding!). thankfully, there was a free campsite about a mile outside the entrance, so me and rotey-roo "set up camp" and hit the hay. just for the record, people aren't lyin when they say it gets REALLY cold in the desert at night. i woke up in the middle of the night half frozen and put on like three more layers of clothes. even that and spooning with rotor didn't warm me up! 

Monday:

we spent most of monday driving. not because it's a terribly long drive but because i wasn't paying attention and missed a pretty crucial split... and didn't realize it until like 3 hours later when i figured i should have already come across it by then... so yeah. it was fun, though. i finished another audio book so i felt pretty accomplished. poor little rotor was panting even with the windows up and the AC cranked full blast. it was 115 degrees outside, according to my handy dandy in-car thermostat. after making it through the desert, we hit rush hour traffic so we pulled into a cute little place called riverside for a bit. i got a yummy watermelon smoothie at some place. i love watermelon. i could seriously eat an entire watermelon in one sitting. i think i might have done that before, actually... 

at about 9 pm we found a motel with the right price (after i said "your room's too expensive. thanks anyway" and he said "wait what if i give you 50% off?" and i said "really? that works."). even though it was a monday night, i decided to go out anyway because all i'd done was drive all day. i found out gas lamp was apparently the place to be after asking around. it's basically a few strips lined with bars/clubs/restaurants so i headed that way. luckily, there was no cover charge anywhere so i barhopped around, enjoying blues, rock and even some reggae. the reggae was my favorite. the lead singer even blew me a sweet kiss followed by a couple of even sweeter hip thrusts from the stage. overall, gas lamp was a pretty cool area. hopefully, i'll get to check it out again before i leave.

tuesday:

so i'm totally lovin this free breakfast thing we've got goin on at my hotel. and i've definitely taken full advantage of it. i came back to my room this morning with two homemade waffles, 6 mini boxes of cereal, 3 packets of oatmeal, 2 apples, 2 oranges, and 3 cups of orange juice.  i made multiple trips so as not to seem too obvious that i was about to create a breakfast famine for the rest of the guests. what? a girl's gotta eat! plus, i needed to restock for the rest of my trip... geez.

after breakfast, rotor and i hit up dog beach on coronado island. i'm pretty sure dog beaches are the coolest things ever. not only was it beautiful, but i was allowed to have my baby with me--and off his leash!! we even made a friend today! this guy sat his stuff down next to where me and roo were laying, and rotor's constant attempts to hump one his dogs eventually led us into conversation. though none of you will believe it, this guy is actually even MORE of a dog person than me! i couldn't believe it. we talked about our dogs for like 3 hours. rotor loved him--which was weird since rotor's usually pretty shy. after a long nap this afternoon, i headed out to pacific/mission beach and scoped out that area. it was a pretty cool place. so far, coronado is still my favorite, though. 

the verdict is out: i love san diego.

and the photos will show these moments were golden

san antonio. is. amazing. saying i love that city would be an understatement. i'm usually not a huge big-skyscraper-city fan... but oh my. i think it was the riverwalk that won me over. live music. outdoor restaurants on a river. and all just a flight of stairs below the rest of the city. it's the coolest thing! it was such a safe and clean city too. i'll definitely be going back there someday.

it was close to midnight by the time we left san antonio, and after walking around for a few hours, me and rotey (yes, i have countless nicknames for him) were pooped. after having to shell out $50 bucks the night before, i was determined to sleep for free last night. so on we drove through the warm, breezy night. about half an hour down the road, i saw signs for a campground, and i was sold. a little apprehensive since the campground was the ONLY thing off this exit, i attempted to push my doubts away with the thought of free sleeping. and then free waking up in the middle of the night to some wild-eyed man leaning over me, watching me sleep. and then free kicking and screaming as i'm dragged away to his log cabin in the middle of the woods, never to be heard from or seen again. ok, so obviously i wasn't successful in pushing my doubts away. however, i decided that i would at least check out the campsite, and if it looked at all sketchy, i would leave.

since i got to the site so late, everyone was already tucked away in their tents/RVs. Sadly, there was no one to collect my money that i was so eager and willing to give. How disappointed i was ;-) and i most certainly didn't intentionally drive right past the giant sign that said "Late Arrivals--Drop Money Inside" with an arrow pointing to a 24-hour building. What?? I knew would only be there for like 5 hours anyway...! Don't judge me. Finding the first open spot, i pulled my car in between two RVs and presumed setting up camp. Setting up camp for me consists of unrolling my sleeping pad, laying my sleeping bag on top, and crawling inside. I think tents are a waste of time. I'd much rather sleep under the beautiful blanket of stars. Rotor actually did act as my guard dog, circling my sleeping bag for most of the night, with a perpetual warning growl to anyone who might approach. 

it was such an amazing night. there was a constant warm breeze to keep me cool and the sky was so beautiful and clear. for an hour and a half (it took awhile to fall asleep because every horror movie i've ever seen kept popping up in my mind), i just gazed up at the stars. so peaceful. and within five minutes, i literally saw TWO shooting stars!!! i couldn't believe it! it took everything in me not to go bang on the RV door next to me and tell the neighbors what i'd just witnessed! i was soooo excited! what?? i've never seen one before. much less, 2! i don't remember falling asleep, but i do remember waking up to a certain guard dog who had fallen asleep on the job. he had somehow weasled his way inside the sleeping bag with me and proceeded to snore in my ear. 

i took that as my wake-up call, and with a good 5 hours of sleep under my belt, i decided we'd better mosey on outta there before someone realized i hadn't paid. so after grabbing my shower stuff, i ran over to the bathrooms only to find you needed a code to get inside. a code given only to those who had paid. a code which i obviously didn't have. so back onto the road we went. after a few minutes on the interstate, we came across another campground, and i snuck into the bathroom behind someone else, stole my shower, and headed back out onto the open road.

we arrived in el paso a couple hours ago... and i once again began my quest for a local coffee shop with free wifi. after much confusion and misdirection, i FINALLY found one! yay! so here we are... about to leave here and head off to phoenix next... hopefully camping again tonight. we'll see how it goes!

i've never been so alone, and i've never been so alive

to say i know exactly where i am would be a lie. i am somewhere close to/in houston... i think. and apparently people in texas don't have local coffee shops or sit outside in cafes, which is very disappointing! i was trying to support the local shops, and me and roo literally drove around for an hour in stop-and-go traffic (which is NOT fun when you have a stick shift. my left calf is going to be a monster!) searching for either option, but to no avail. finally, i stumbled upon a panera bread that has an outdoor cafe so i figured 1 outta 2 isn't so bad... and then when i stepped out of my car, i quickly discovered why it is exactly that people in texas don't sit outside in cafes. i'm not entirely sure, but i think i briefly burst into flames. since restaurants have this crazy notion that it's not sanitary for dogs to be inside of restaurants, and i didn't want my computer to melt upon removal from the laptop case, i opted for sitting inside. luckily, there was a parking space in the shade right next to a window, so after cranking up the AC, topping off his bowl with fresh iced water and promising a rapid return, i locked rotor in my car (i was smart and brought an extra set of keys so i can actually UNlock the car if i need to leave him in there for a minute).  currently, i'm sitting about ten feet away from my car, separated from my baby boy by only two glass windows, and looking like a crazy lady for all the people sitting around me who don't know why i keep fervidly lifting up the blinds to peek outside. it's okay, people! i'm just an overprotective mommy.

yesterday was interesting. we got off to a late start (even though i woke up at 7 am!). after some running/pilates in the morning (to interrupt my story, i need everyone to know that i thought i just heard my car alarm go off and spastically jerked the blind up and stuck my ear against the window. false alarm-- haha no pun intended.), i ended up having to do a lot more last-minute packing than i had realized... which delayed our departure until 2 pm. The actual driving was great. With the windows down and my baby at my side, we cruised along, listening to audio books (yes, you're jealous of my insane coolness) and a various array of music. Rotor loves car rides so no problems there. 

The tentative goal was New Orleans, and finally, we rolled in at about 9 pm. Originally, I was going to find a motel/hostel to stay in for the night beforehand... And of course, I had seen about 39 million cheap ones along the way, but wanting to reach New Orleans first, I refused to stop at any of them. As I approached the exit, anticipation was bursting at my seams (or maybe that was just one too many graham crackers bursting my seams.. i don't know). However, that excitement quickly waned as I proceeded to get lost in the ghetto for two hours, with Rotor pawing and whining the whole time, telling me that i better find a fluffy, green bush for him or his anticipation was going to burst all over my seat.

At last, i saw the glorious sign pointing me back to the interstate, and i gladly kissed new orleans goodbye! my one-night-stand with new orleans just wasn't meant to be. zipping back along the interstate, my eyes began to droop, and i knew that i needed to find somewhere to rest soon. unfortunately, traffic disagreed. damn construction. another 2 hours later, i pulled into the parking lot of the cheapest motel i could find and stood in line behind a couple of drunken/stoned hookers to pay for my room (and here's my version for mom: i pulled into the nicest/safest looking hotel i could find and had the valet park my car while i went inside to enjoy a peaceful slumber). 

as i headed up the stairs to my haven of rest, i got cornered by a drunken, shirtless and extremely sweaty (or greasy.. not sure) man, asking if my dog was friendly. "No," i replied, quickly, "he's more of a guard dog," silently pleading for rotor to let out a ferocious growl. of course, he decided to wag his tail. once inside my room, i slammed the door shut and locked and then double bolted it. for the most part, i slept pretty well (and yes, i definitely slept in my sleeping bag on top of the covers. who knows what's gone on in those sheets?? i swear, i'll wash it before i give it back, angela! hehe) occasionally, i awoke to what i thought was rotor pacing the fake-hardwood floor. then i saw him lying next to me on the bed... and silently prayed that rats couldn't jump.

so anyway... here we are. i don't know how long i've been driving because all my watches are set to different times (don't ask.)... but we've still got a few hours to go until i plan on trying to find a campsite. hopefully, we'll camp tonight. i might try and make it to san antonio... we'll see. i'm going to try and post a couple videos so if i do, check em out! 

the soft dive of oblivion

it's 3:30 am. i am awake. i am terrified. here come the negative thoughts... am i crazy?? i'm just a 22 year old girl taking her dog on a cross-country roadtrip (hey mom! good to know you've implanted your thoughts into my brain)! where will i stay? what will i eat? what if i run out of money? what if my car breaks down? what if i meet the wrong person in a dark alley??

 **note to self: avoid all dark alleys--especially ones with suspicious looking strangers.**

there are so many what-ifs! i can't possibly know the answer to them. the fear of the unknown--it'll getcha every time if you let it. deeeeeeeeep breath! let's do a little worst case scenario analysis here:

where will i stay?-- there is always somewhere to stay. hopefully a cheap hotel/hostel. but even if the absolute worst happens (can't find a place within my budget), i can always sleep in my car or outside. i can reacquaint myself with mother nature. it's been awhile anyway.

what will i eat? preferably food. since i'm doing this on a budget, i'm going to stick to more homemade, thrown-together meals and limit restaurant consumption. 

what if i run out of money? then i'll turn around and come home. the point of this trip is to learn that you can't always plan for life. sometimes the unexpected happens and you need to be able to cope. though san diego is my destination, if i can't make it there, it's not the end of the world. don't focus so much on the end point but on the journey along the way.

what if i meet the wrong person in a dark alley?? fortunately for me, when i was at super ninja training school last year, i learned just how to deal with this situation. or not. how about we just hope for the best on this one? and if not for the best, at least hope that my mace will spray them in both eyes and up the nose (with my luck, i'd probably have it facing the wrong way and spray myself...),  disabling them long enough for to me to run screaming like a little girl (hey! i'm allowed! i am one!) in the other direction. not, of course, until i knee him (or her--let's be politically correct, here) in the groin and smash all of his (or her!!) toes with my heel for dramatic effect.

now i feel much better. still a little stressed... but i think that it's just going to take me leaving before i'll truly calm down. or maybe i'll just get worse. we'll see.

ask for forgiveness, not permission

so deciding which day to leave this week has caused a great internal debate. the earliest i could leave would be thursday morning... however, my mom and jack (stepdad) are coming into town this weekend for my mom's horseshow (not exactly sure what she was doing in it--but she's been talking about it for like 2 months now... so i figured it was important i be there) which is saturday night, meaning i can't leave until sunday if i am a good daughter and go. but but but! i just received a phone call from moomers telling me that smokey (her horse) stepped on her foot basically breaking her toes, thus disabling her from being in the horseshow saturday night. yes, i am sad for my mother and her broken toes--i'm not totally heartless!-- but i am excited for what this means: a thursday morning departure date!

first mistake of my great roadtrip adventure: telling my mom. the original plan was to wait to tell her i'm driving to california with rotor as my only companion until i was halfway across the country. this way, when she freaked out, she would have no way of stopping me. but my excitement got the best of me and i told her too soon! her reaction was exactly as i expected: begging and pleading for me not to go. "it's too dangerous for a young girl to travel on her own!"  

"so what, mom? am i supposed to postpone all my dreams in life until i find some prince charming to accompany me?" 

hesitation "no..." (but she's thinking "yes." i know you, mom!!) "but it'd be safer if you had someone with you. even a girl!"

"the beauty of this trip is that i'm going it alone, mom."

"you'll get kidnapped and raped and sold to slave drivers! haven't you seen that movie 'wanted'?" (of course, she was actually referring to the movie 'Taken', but I knew what she meant).

"Yes, but if we're using this movie as a point of reference, do recall that the girl got kidnapped even though she had a friend with her. And she gets rescued in the end--with only a minor drug addiction. See? It'll all work out okay." (alright, not the best way to comfort her). "Look, mom, the point is that something bad can happen no matter where you are or who you're with. I can't live my life out of fear of what could happen. I'll be safe. I'll be smart. It'll all work out in the end."

i did my best to convince her that i'll be okay but to no avail. moomers is a worry wart through and through. angela said i should have waited until i got back to tell her that i went. i'm thinking that was a good idea. damn. anyway, our conversation ended with me telling her that as much as i love her and respect her opinion, we're very different people with different desires, and this is something i want to do. unfortunately for us, i inherited her stubborn gene so my next 36 hours will consist of screening all phone calls as she will likely call me from various unrecognizable lines in a last-ditch effort to convince me to stay. and my mom is one sneaky lady! who knows what excuses she'll come up with to thwart my plans... so until i'm successfully on the road, all calls from unknown numbers will go directly to voicemail.